I am so sorry to say that last night at around 11pm GMT, my darling Bertie passed away in my arms. We had tried everything we could to make him better, and he fought like the trooper he is and tried his best for his devoted mummy. I was bereft as I placed my hand on his heart and felt it fade away as he lay there, his breathing getting shallower by the second. I’d been in close contact with the vets and they had monitored my home treatment and said that all I had done would have been the same as what they would have done and so it was best that Bert was with his mummy and daddy, on his bed and comfy pillows with his new blanket he got for Christmas wrapped around him as he faded away from us in the best surroundings possible.There is a hole in my heart that cannot be filled, no one can ever take Bertie’s place, he was my best friend and shadow for nearly 15 years and I loved him with every fibre of my being and he showed devotion, patience, love, comfort, and strength above and beyond the call of duty and I am deeply proud that he picked me to be with for his life from 7 weeks old. I say picked because I went to choose his brother from the breeder but Bert was having none of it and twice sat on his brother and wagged his tail at me as if to say “Pick me! Pick me!” The breeder told me that Bert seemed to have made his choice and as I picked him up he fell in to a contented sleep in my arms and we all knew that Bert and I were meant to be together.

I have left my baby angel at the vets this afternoon, I carried him in myself, it was the last mummy act I could do, and we await a call from the pet crematorium tomorrow to make arrangements for his cremation and funeral, which we will have since he had so many people who loved him and plus he was a valued family member and so it is only fitting he should have the same dignified and respectful send off that any one of us would have.

I can hardly function and am deeply indebted to Sim who is completely devastated but helping me to cope, as is my second but human son Lincoln.

I’m grateful that as Bertie started to decline last night his daddy was with him while I got updated help from the vets, and when Sim thought Bert was taking a turn for the worst he called me and I was there till the end.

We can’t believe he’s gone, it’s was so sudden, and I always believed that between mine and Bert’s determination he would pull through and be the bouncy fellow he always was, but I guess he felt it was time to go.

Life will never be the same without him, he was my best friend, my shadow, my beautiful son, yes I said son, it didn’t matter that he was canine and that I didn’t bear him, he was my welcome responsibility, a total and utter joy and my precious, handsome baby boy and I’ll never, ever forget him. My heart is broken.

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